Angry Bird Review Absolutely Haram In 2021

1/5 - (1 vote)

So I just saw the Angry Birds movie and holy shit it was nothing like I thought it would be.

When I first saw the trailer during Zootopia’s previews, I thought I could predict the entire

movie before seeing it. You know, take a guess: this green pig is the bad guy and throughout

 

the movie the main character learns that not all pigs are bad, and after defeating the

villian, in the end they all learn to live together. Right? Nope. While Zootopia’s message

was basically, racism is bad & you should love everyone and *ahem* try everything

Angry Bird’s message is the exact opposite, and I found that fucking hilarious.

Now before I get into this review, know that there will be spoilers and I’ll be going into

the realm of speculation. While this just may be my personal interpretation, I felt

like this movie had some… political undertones. Especially on the topic of immigration. And

I don’t think I’m reaching. I’m not even delving into illuminati symbolism here.

“Hey everyone it’s the Vigilant Christian Mario here for another edition of Satanic Illuminati”

“Media Exposed. It’s coincidentally called ILLUMINATION ENTERTAINMENT.”

The movie revolves around Red, a bird who really hates pigs. But for good reason, since

they completely destroyed his house when they arrive. It also doesn’t help that Red has

some serious anger issues.

[ PUPPET LAUGHING SOUND EFFECT ]

[ UNSOLICITED OPINIONS ON ISRAEL ]

I only started to think something was up once I saw the villian of the movie, King Mudbeard.

Something about that beard, and the TNT behind him.

And yes his name is actually King Mudbeard, trust me I looked it up right after seeing

the movie. The pigs charm the locals and end up convincing everyone that they should be

allowed to stay. Red seems to be the only one who’s suspicious of the refugees — I

mean pigs. Pigs.

Red even goes as far as saying “There’s something not kosher about these pigs.” But since everyone

thinks Red is a racist conspiracy theorist, they ignore his warning.

“I don’t trust them!” “Your opinion, is not needed!”

“Is there a doctor around? Because we have a burn victim here!”

“So the situation Red finds himself in, is one that everyone can relate to.”

You don’t say? I feel like lots of people might relate to Red’s struggle.

Red and his anger management buddies go on a quest to look for help. They eventually

find Mighty Eagle, this hero that the movie hypes up as the final solution to their immigration

crisis — I mean — pig problem. Red, Chuck and Bomb also happen to have the same colors

of Germany’s flag, so we’ll just say Mighty Eagle represents… uh

When they finally meet the legenedary hero, he turns out to be a deadbeat, self absorbed,

has-been who’s obsessed with his old life and his 13 trophies. He also has no regard

for the environment around him, as he’s seen pissing in the water. What a fitting symbol

for America.

Realizing Migthy Eagle isn’t as helpful as they thought, Red and the gang head back home,

only to find the place in ruins. It turns out Red was completely right, as the pigs

end up stealing all of their eggs and destroying everyone’s homes. This leads to the final

climactic scene of the movie where the birds attack the pig fortress by flinging themselves

from a giant slingshot, kind of like that indie smartphone game no one has ever heard of.

Alright, here ya go Red…

In this final scene there were some really interesting background details you might miss

if you aren’t looking closely. For example, this COEXIST bumper sticker which strangely

has all religious symbolism removed except for a crecent moon. Huh.

“The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”

Or this Hamnesty International sign hahaha oh man. This is really happening.

But it gets even better. Bomb has trouble exploding whenever he wants to. He seems

to only explode whenever he’s surprised or angry. Near the end of the movie he needs

to think of something to make him mad so he can explode. To do this, he imagines Pigs

in planes. PIGS in planes.

So to summarize, these three angry birds, who happen to be the same colors of Germany’s

flag, are asking America’s help to get rid of their Mudbeard problem. After Red remarks

on how un kosher these pigs are, they end up stealing all of their eggs. But this is only

after convincing everyone that they should be allowed to stay as immigrants. The birds get the

eggs back by attacking the pigs, all while visual symbols like a coexist bumper sticker

are flashed on screen. Am I looking too far into this? Probably.

Did I like the movie? Yes. Is it one of the best video game movie adaptations of all time?

Yes! Though that isn’t a prestigious title. The bar is set pretty low. But honestly, the

animation is great, the voice acting and casting are absolutely spot on, and the movie got

some genuine laughs out of me. Overall, I’d recommend seeing this movie just so you can

write in and tell me what you see. I mean it’s just a kid’s movie, right?

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